oh hey
Hi Team Wedding,
As long as the married folk are giving accounts of their V-Days, I thought I'd chip in, so those about to be married and the others considering it will know that the flame never dies; it only grows stronger.
Our first Hallmark-manufactured China-produced holiday of love was spent necking. But that was after my wife discovered me lying in bed, having dipped myself hours earlier in a pool of warm, liquid chocolate, which hardened and remained like a full-body cast, save for my face, which was left exposed, so that she would know I wasn't some random chocolate encrusted dude in our bed.
Needless to say, she was astounded. Two hours of nibbling later, I was released of my cacao-noir prison and free to engage in one of the most strenuous acts of passion I'd ever experienced: we married ourselves in 21 distinct religious traditions. Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Greek Orthodox....Ayamara Tinku-style, Polynesian mass wedding, Italian Mafia shotgun wedding, a marriage of convenience....a marriage of underage illegal immigrants, a Korean Lutheran wedding, two different forms of Japanese cultural rapist weddings (NB: cultural rapist) a butterfly wedding... a simulated space wedding, a music video wedding...that is just a sampling. It was testimony to the depth of our love that each ceremony felt like it was our first...and in each one our love grew deeper. You might say that it was the buzz from two hours of straight chocolate eating that gave us the stamina to get through it, but we were sustained by something more profound! The type of love that gets you through 22 marriages to one person never lets you down. I wish you all find someone someday with whom you can experience what I did, 21 times, in 21 different ways, last night.
You might ask: wouldn't 21 weddings be followed by 21 bouts of you know, hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink? Actually, we had six people over for dinner after that. My wife cooked and at some point, I will clean. That too was amazing. I pray that you all know the pleasure of being married to someone 21 different ways and then having six people over for dinner, to a meal of chicken marsala and baked sweet mashed potatoes. Even if you don't spell potatoes like that, it will be the night of your life. At one point my wife dropped a glass and it shattered. It reminded me of our Jewish wedding, when we stepped on a glass and it broke. The memories came flooding back and I picked my lover up and twirled her around the kitchen. We were in our own little world. I told our guests that there was a fire in the apartment building and that we had to get out, get out get out now! I wasn't lying. The fire was inside and after they had fled without their coats the nudging and blinking began in earnest. And it continues even during the writing of this blog post. Nudge nudge, bat-bat-bat-bat-bat-bat.
So, any others? We'd love to hear what folks did to mark the day. Thanks,
The Marx Bros.
Labels: chicken marsala, chocolate body casts, kabuki dancing, llama raising, someone's mother
posted by The Marx Brothers @ 1:08 PM
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